School Diairies: Getting picked on in school

Friday, June 29, 2018

I know it happens EVERYWHERE because of all the news and media attention it gets.  But I have always been aloof on the topic, thinking - *Nah, it won't happen to me*  but it happened to my child, specifically - Connor.

It's barely been two weeks yet there have been incidents.  Mind you, they're not very alarming - but still incidents - just the same.  So what happened? 

1st Incident:
When I picked Connor up from school - he told me that someone punched him on the shoulder.  When I asked who it was, he mentioned the name of his classmate.  I was at first skeptical because the name sounded a bit foreign - but when I looked at his class list, I found the name.  I then asked what he did next and he said *nothing* but after a while he said he punched back.  I am not very sure on the accuracy of his account - so I emailed his teacher about it.  I was very impressed because the teacher replied swiftly, saying that she was aware of the incident because Connor reported it to her.  She said they will try and investigate on what happened.  And that if it happened again, that Connor should immediately report it to the teacher.

2nd Incident:
The day after I reported the 1st incident, Connor told me that this same boy called him names.  So I asked what the boy called him.  Connor said *He calls me a box!*  I honestly didn't understand what that meant but then I just brushed it off, but made sure to remember this incident.

3rd Incident:
Yesterday, while inside the car - Connor tells me that this boy teased him.  Saying that he looked like *Hello Kitty*.  I then said, it's okay since Hello Kitty is cute.  I think he took offense because he answered me with *But I am NOT a girl!*  Again, I brushed it off but made sure to remember it.  

I then decided to wait it out and see if this will reach a 5th incident (before I do something more than tell the teacher),  My Panget said why wait for a 5th incident, I said it was because I needed for the boy to repeat what he did - just to prove it's not a random a few times thing.  At least with 5 incidents, no one can tell me that it happened once or twice and won't ever happen again.

Then yesterday, when I picked up Connor - the teacher asked to speak to me.  She said that there was an incident that morning but they were unclear if it was punching or kicking.  Connor said he was punched, while the boy admitted he kicked Connor.  Both boys were taken to an office and spoken to, the boy apologized to Connor.  Teacher said that they have taken measures and have been reminding the boy to watch his actions.  I felt a bit relieved because the school was able to do something about it, I just hope that there won't be other incidents.  The teacher then said that she felt that the boy was just rough playing, so I just took it lightly.

Then while inside the car, Connor told me happily that he went to the Principal's office with the boy - and the principal spoke to them.  I was honestly confused because I was told by teacher that it was a teacher team leader/supervisor that spoke to the boys, but I let Connor tell his side of the story.  He said that the boy said sorry to him.  Then the teacher told them to use *gentle hands*.  Then after while he blurted out 'Mommy, I almost cried but I didn't'  I asked why he almost cried, he said because it hurt very much.  That is when my heart broke.  He was forcing himself not to cry - and that he felt hurt with the punch.  That means, this punch wasn't light nor was it a playful thing or rough play.  I do understand that there are some kids that are heavy handed but Connor was hurt enough to have the urge to cry.  And Connor doesn't cry unless he's really hurt (physically and emotionally)

I was already ready and prepared to let go of the issue to be honest, because I felt a bit better after speaking to the teacher.  But then Connor brought this up and I was again bothered.

How do you handle situations like this?  I am honestly at a loss and I don't know how to handle it properly.  As much as I want to confront, I know it's not the best solution.  I am trying different methods, but if these methods prove not to improve the situation - then I may need to go straight to the parent.

I need to protect my child too.  But I am exercising caution and patience as much as I can.  I can be a bitch and go on a total offensive - but I know it won't do me nor the situation good.

This is one test that is proving to be quite difficult.

And it's just the second week of school.




5 comments :

  1. You can talk to the boy and threaten him in a nice way �� the boy will be intimidated and will refrain from doing harm to Connor.

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    1. Hello Anymous, alam mo naisip ko narin yan. But I think it's not proper. I don't even know what he looks like except he's bigger than Connor (so he says). Pero if maulit na may incident again - iba na usapan. Hahaha!!

      Thank you for commenting! I appreciate the push and support. Kung pwede lang talaga noh??

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  2. I understand how you feel. Telling the teacher will help, kahit ilang incidents pa yan at magmukha kang laging nagsusumbong, go lang. It will also show the teacher and the school that you are not taking this issue lightly. Also tell Connor to tell you everything. And to know how to defend himself.

    I told my eldest that, na if someone teases or hurts her in school, make sure to tell teacher kahit magmukha ka nang sumbungera. :P But I wouldn't confront the kid myself. Probably talk to the parent in the presence of the guidance counselor or prefect para may arbiter (tapos i-record mo yung convo, hehe!).

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    1. Michelle!! Nako, alam mo naisip ko nga kausapin yung parent, but I think not proper since I need the school to let them know first. There are no incidents naman today - so buti nalang. I was told that it's not just Connor, may ibang boys pa in his class na ginaganyan. Thanks for the support!! I don't want to seem like sumbungera, but I think - kailangan e.

      Mishuuuu!! Di na tayo nagkikitaaaa

      Love, Didi

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