Realizations & the movie Wonder

Monday, February 05, 2018

Recently, I turned a year older.  I am not one of those who dread getting a year older.  Aging and growing up is a part of life.  I honestly don't understand those who get offended when they are asked for their age.  We can't stay young all our lives.

As I turned a year older, well - as every year passed by - celebrations have become less festive.  I feel that as I age, I want my birthday to be a simple and quiet celebration.  I have appreciated more those simple gestures of greetings because I feel they are more sincere.  I am proud to day that I turned 38 this year.  Another year wiser.  Looking back, I know I've wronged people, I've hurt friends and have been on that same end.  But what I have done is forgive them, and shake off those negative feelings.  I just hope those who I have hurt and wronged will learn to forgive me as well.  I know it's not an easy process, but it will eventually get there.

One of the things that I look forward to, during my birthday is the Starbucks cake that my Starbucks family sends me and the usual birthday misua that I order and eat a lot of.  The cheers and singing voices of my children singing me random Happy Birthday songs when they feel like it and the dinner I have with my Panget and the kids.  It's actually very simple now, I am not one who likes to be in the center of it all.  I'm KJ that way.  Boring noh?

Image grabbed from THIS site

Last Friday, my Panget decided to have the kids watch the movie *Wonder* with the kids.  I honestly didn't think the kids would understand it.  I personally thought, oh my - another tear jerker!  Mababaw kasi luha ko.  And true enough, I was tearing up every so often.

I related to the film very much, I felt the pain, the sadness, the loneliness.  I understood the anger and the selfishness, the need to fit it.  Everything was so real in the movie for me.  As I was telling Kailee and reminding her that kindness goes a long way.  She suddenly cried in the middle of the movie.  I knew something was wrong.

She cried during the part where Via was being ignored by her friend Miranda.  So, I asked her what was wrong.  She just said that a friend of hers suddenly didn't want to play with her, thus she would just sit by herself on the bench.  My heart was crushed.  It really was and I started tearing up.  So I hugged her and told her, it was going to be okay.  But for her to feel that and cry, it must really have hurt her very much.  I told her, you know you have 35 other girls in class and you can play with them.  But I knew in my heart, that this was something more.  She felt ignored and not needed.  We've all felt that way.  I have felt that way.  I remember in the later part of grade school when two girls who I thought of as my best friends suddenly walked away from me as if I had a contagious disease.  I remember feeling so hurt and lonely that time, thinking that my world was going to end.  But now being 38, I realized that it was just one of those things.  Friendships fall apart.  Shit happens to friendships.  Of course, I can't tell Kailee that, right?  She wouldn't understand.  But as I was comforting her, I was telling her that it also happened to me when I was in ICA.  She immediately felt better.  I guess for her, all she needed was the comfort of knowing that it didn't just happen to her alone, that it also happened to me, her mom.

During the part when Miranda was narrating her version of the story, I explained to Kailee that people act a certain ways because they are also dealing with their own problems and issues.  When we learn what they are going through, we become more kind and understanding to them.  I also told Kailee to verbalize her emotions with love and care.  She can tell this friend nicely that she felt hurt when this friend didn't want to play with her, but not to expect this friend to drop everything and be with her.  I explained, as long as you let her know, then that's good enough.  How she will react to what you said is totally up to her.  And that Kailee shouldn't feel bad anymore.  It's quite hard to explain to kids the concept of *moving on*, they tend to put everything to heart and in the process become hurt and affected.  But I guess, in life - that's one thing that is inevitable - getting hurt.

I really wish I can shield them from pain, but I know when I do - I'm depriving them of life lessons.  These kids need to go through this process, but with guidance.  And I feel it's very important to have me there for her EVERY SINGLE TIME.  I just hope that I can be the best mom I can be for her physically and emotionally.

Be KIND to everyone you meet.  If you have a choice between being right and kind, CHOOSE KINDNESS.  I remember reading this a long long time ago, and because I realized it was so true in life - Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day, that quote is from H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (according to Google!) And I have since been doing that everyday since I read it a long time ago.

In this world where most everyone is trying to put another down so they can be the best.  Choose KINDNESS.  We need kindness in the world now more that ever.  So please, choose kindness.

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