Parenting 101: Is there a right formula for disciplining?

Friday, December 08, 2017

The answer is NO, there isn't.

Just this morning - I was so angry at Kailee because she opened toys that was meant for some of her friends.  She knew these toys were for her friends as we were preparing them the other day.  I have just set them aside and I was planning to wrap them tonight.

As I was about to wear my shoes, I noticed that there were empty boxes of the said toy on the trash bin.  I could feel blood rising, I call Kailee and Connor.  When they saw me, Kailee had this guilty look in her eyes.  I asked them both who opened the toys.  The pointed to one another.  Connor said *Atchi opened it!* then Kailee said in return *He opened it too!*

If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?

What I did?  I was so angry that I wanted to throw a fit.  I had to be controlled.  It's so effing hard to control your anger with the kids.  Super hard.  REALLY SUPER HARD!  I really wanted to scream!  But I couldn't and so I did the next best thing - I spoke in a very very very LOUD voice.  I know it might be a small thing this issue, but to me, it was something I did not want to just easily pass and forgive immediately.  I don't want them to think that it's perfectly fine opening toys that are not meant for them.  I wanted them to know that I am angry at what they did.

I told Kailee that since she opened a few toys, that a few of her classmates won't be receiving anything from her.  She looked so worried and started to tear up.  Connor couldn't care less because he knew it wasn't for his friends.  I swear, I wanted to scream my head off, but I just spoke in a very loud voice that I was so disappointed and angry and she will get punished.   When she heard the word *punish* she cried even harder.  There are times when I reprimand Kailee that my heart melts when she starts to cry, but her crying this morning did not melt any part of my heart - what I felt was anger, sadness and almost giving up.

This parenting thing - I'm failing, I think.  It's effing hard!

I try and show them good things, being good, being thankful, being nice, being helpful, and especially being mindful.  But my goodness - they do the opposite.  It makes me wonder though - did my mom have a hard time raising us?  You know, I asked her this ha - she said that when we were young, we were really *mabait* we followed her every whim.  It makes me think - why are my children not like that?  I then realized because I acknowledge their feelings, I listen to their opinion and I let them express themselves.

Was I wrong?

I know they're still young and I have a long looooooooooong way to go, but at this stage - I feel like I'm starting to burn out.  I try not to read articles on parenting anymore because I get more confused!  Some say don't spank kids, well - I've tried talking to them and they seem to forget it the instant we finish the conversation, so I've resorted to spanking with a stick when they really misbehave and so something that deserves more than just a talk.

I remember watching this video of a mom saying that it's okay for her kids to *hate* her because a mom is NOT a friend, a mom is a mother and our role is to guide and make them into proper human beings to the world.

It's so tiring this parenting thing, when the kids are misbehaving.  But it's a joy when they're all good and happy and loving.

I love my children but sometimes - arghhhhhhh... I'm sure you all feel this.  It's not always LOVING.  Can't we all just get along?  As in really get along?

Lord, help us.

Life talaga...


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