#Better Me: Effects of Childhood Psycological Trauma on Parents and Kids

Monday, June 22, 2015

When you say trauma, one immediately thinks of a very bad experience that scared the bejeezuz out of you at one point.  But it's actually not - trauma means *scars* scars that we brought on by certain situations and instances.  Like say when toddlers cry - there is an emotional scar - it may be small, but it's still a scar - thus, it's called *trauma*

Last week, I was lucky enough to meet and listen to Christine Foong-Wong speak on the topic *Understanding childhood Psychological Trauma and it's effects on parents and children*  I learned so much in a short time, and I'm sure there will be more learnings if you attend her session on June 27, 2015 at the Ortigas Library.

When I first encountered the topic, I thought - wow, it's quite a heavy one to digest.  But then as Christine spoke, it made perfect sense.  We are who we are because of the experiences that shaped us.  They may be bad and they may be good - but in total - they're all life experiences.

I have to admit, when I was younger the thought of attending *Parenting* seminars was a waste of time.  I always assumed - why do I need to listen to talks?  My parents were able to raise me well and they didn't attend any talks of forums.  I had this *mayabang* thought that I didn't need help!  But when I had children of my own, it dawned on me that I wanted to become a better parent to my kids because I wanted them to be better than I am.

It was a strange realization to be honest.  Because I was used to the set up that *Parents are always right, no matter what*  but then I realized that I want my children to be better people.  And if I want my kids to become better people, then I have to become a better parent myself.  I think I admitted to the fact that life is a continuing learning process - and I wanted to make less mistakes when it comes to parenting so I was really open to the idea of listening to talks and attending seminars.  It was pure luck that I got invited to #BetterMe sessions with Coach Pia.  And with just one session - OMG - it has changed my outlook and how I relate to my kids.

Last week, was an eye opener - really.  I listened to Christine Foong-Wong speak on the topic *Understanding the effects of Psychological Trauma on parents and children*  I thought I was doing alright,  I mean armed with the skills and techniques I learned from lecturers.  I was confident, but what I didn't know was - there were MORE things to learn, more topics to touch on.  I know growing up, we've learned to take in the good and leave out the bad things that we learned from our parents.  I personally swore that I will be careful with the words I use around my kids.  But that wasn't enough.  Words apparently aren't enough.  I was surprised to learn that emotions can be passed on too!  Can you believe it trauma can be passed on to up to the 3rd generation?  Who would have thought that your grandparent's trauma may have cause you to be a certain way?  It was such an eye opener.  Kids we have always thought are resilient - I mean, I always thought that when it comes to kids - they're not aware, but apparently - they are!  They can't explain it but they feel it and it scars them - it causes psychological trauma.  And this trauma they carry for the rest of their lives - unless, it's dealt with.  We have been so used to *coping* with the situations thrown our way, and thus - we develop a defense mechanism of sort, to deal with certain situations.  It's not wrong, but there is a reason why it happens.  Why do we always need to cope?  Why do we always need to protect ourselves?  To understand yourself better - ask yourself this  *WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG?*  For sure you'll understand yourselves better.

What impacted me the most was when Christine said that - memories are sometimes suppressed, because of the trauma we experienced, these memories are hidden.  But what we don't know is that - when we forget certain memories - our bodies never forget them.  There is an instant *recall* when we're told of certain events.  I never thought of it that way.  I guess that's one of the reasons why whenever I hear of a certain topic of conversation - I suddenly just cry with no apparent reason!  I may need go deep and ask myself - what happened to me when I was young!

This session was very enlightening for me.  I would love to join her workshop unfortunately - I have prior commitments.  But in case you are interested - I promise you, this will be worth your time and money.  It's one step closer to your journey as a better parent to your child.  Click on THIS LINK to sign up.  Their rate now is P8,000.00 for 2 people already.  Actually - it's P8,000.00 for one person but you can bring one (1) friend.  So in short - it's a 2 for 1 deal.  Hehehe..

Thank you to Harvey & Manila Fashion Observer, Spectrum Education and Baron 3 Garden Residences for this opportunity to hear Christine Foong Wong speak.

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